"Hi! Welcome to Whistler! Please get your tickets out and ready because they will be scanning them up ahead, thank you." I don't know how many times I have said that. Or how many times I have said "hello", "bonjour" (yes, I speak French now), "please stay to the right of the path...STAY TO THE RIGHT PEOPLE!!!" and so much more. Soon I will be waking up in the night yelling, "going to Longsdale? your bus will be numbers 17-20!." or maybe it will be, "Can I see your tag please?" or maybe, "I am sorry but you cannot come in here". Through this experience I have had many laughs. I love watching people, they are hilarious. There are many people who have come in with very interesting costumes and then there are some who are just weird. There were two guys who seemed to be drunk every time I saw them, but they knew me by name and took a picture with me every day they saw me. They were Italian and told me that they would always remember me and that I was just so nice and they will tell people, "this is Ellie, she is a nice girl". How flattering coming from two drunk guys who probably had no clue where they were.
Lately it has been hard to witness to these people. I haven't been feeling very delightful. I am getting worn out and am looking at it more like a job where I clock in and clock out rather then a mission trip. We talked about how we are having a different perspective and that we need to remember why we are here. I haven' been able to have any sweet talks with people lately just because of where I have been stationed at. But I am forming friendships with people all around the park, which is cool. But sometimes I have a hard time being nice to these people, sometimes they just push my buttons and I am ready to just tell them off. I haven't yet, I just pray like crazy when I feel like that. Yesterday was a hard day just because no one would listen. They didn't like listening to the little girl standing in the path telling them what to do, which is frustrating because I am just doing what I am told.
But I am feeling pretty frustrated and down lately. I am not having cool opportunities like other people and I am just... just frustrated. I am extremely worn out and am not having the energy to pour into these people's lives. How can I teach people about God when I know nothing about Him myself. I just feel incapable to help these people. Sometimes I don't even want to be here. I am getting frustrated with people and being around people all day just makes me feel as though I am going to go crazy! There is no where to go to be alone, but I am trying to keep my hope up and trust in God. It is hard and I am feeling like I am drowning and I just can't do it anymore.
Please pray that my last five days of working will be good. That I will be able to help these people and that they will see God in my life. And that I will be doing God's will and not mine. Sometimes I try to steer a conversation in a certain direction so that I can start "the talk", but I am praying that God will just give me boldness.
Thank you so much for all your prayers, I appreciate it and will try to keep you up dated.
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